A Bit Of Humor
- Joke #1:
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The patient demanded, "Doc, I need a liver transplant, a kidney transplant, a cornea transplant, a lung transplant, and a heart transplant."
"WHAT?!" yelled the doctor. "What makes you think you need all these transplants?"
"Well," explained the patient, "my boss told me I need to get reorganized."
- Joke #2:
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A plumber attended to a leaking faucet at the neurosurgeon's house. After a two-minute job, he demanded $150.
The neurosurgeon exclaimed, "I don't even charge that, and I'm a brain surgeon!"
The plumber replied, "I didn't either when I was a surgeon. That's why I went into plumbing!"
- Joke #3:
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The aspiring student psychiatrists from various colleges were attending their first class on emotional extremes. "Just to establish some parameters," said the professor, to the student from the University of Houston, "What is the opposite of joy?"
"Sadness," replied the student.
"And the opposite of depression?" the professor asked of the young lady from Rice.
"Elation," said she.
"And you sir," he said to the young man from Texas A&M. "How about the opposite of woe?"
The Aggie replied, "Sir, I believe that would be giddy-up."
- Joke #4:
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A physician helping people in a rural area was called to a farmhouse to help a lady give birth. The house had no electricity to he lit a kerosene lamp and handed it to the seven-year-old daughter of the household and told her to hold it up so he could see what he was doing.
The baby was born. The doctor cut the tube, wiped the baby's mouth and nose and then held it up by the feet while he slapped it on the bottom so it would begin to breathe on its own. The little girl then said, "Hit that baby again, Doc. That baby had no business crawling up in there."
- Joke #5:
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A doctor made it his regular habit to stop off at a bar for a hazelnut daiquiri on his way home. The bartender knew of his habit, and would always have the drink waiting at precisely 5:06 p.m.
One afternoon, as the end of the work day approached, the bartender was dismayed to find that he was out of hazelnut extract. Thinking quickly, he threw together a daiquiri made with hickory nuts and set it on the bar.
The doctor came in at his regular time, took one sip of the drink and exclaimed, "This isn't a hazelnut daiquiri!"
"No, I'm sorry," replied the bartender. "It's a hickory daiquiri, Doc."